Calm
YOUR CAVEMAN
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Calm
Your Caveman
podcast
A podcast where we study the tools for anxiety mastery
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Feeling irritated but don’t want to be? In this episode, I coach a client through two real-life situations and teach a simple but powerful framework: the 3 hidden questions your brain is answering that shape your emotions. Change your answers, change how you feel. A must-listen if you're tired of being hijacked by annoyance, especially with the people closest to you.
When anxiety won’t budge, it might be time to listen instead of fight. In this episode, we unpack a tool called anxiety curiosity—a method that works when nothing else does. Turns out, your anxiety might be running on outdated software.
Is people-pleasing running your life? In this episode, I walk you through a powerful coaching process I used with a client named Liz who was exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy. We unpack the roots of her people-pleasing instinct, personify it using the lens of Internal Family Systems, and tap into the Wise Self to reclaim autonomy and authentic decision-making
The secret to calming your anxiety isn’t about calming down, but about aiming smarter. In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of two real coaching sessions—one on social anxiety, one on test anxiety—to walk you through a powerful mindset shift that can dramatically reduce anxiety and increase your sense of control. You’ll learn how to spot the real goal your brain is using to evaluate your situation—and how to swap that goal for something that actually helps you feel calm, focused, and empowered. Whether your anxiety shows up in relationships, exams, or everyday decisions, this episode gives you a repeatable framework you can use any time things feel overwhelming.
You’ve tried breathing. You’ve tried journaling. But your body is still in full-on panic mode. This episode is for the moments when anxiety feels physical, overwhelming, and out of control. I’ll teach you a powerful strategy rooted in psychology and personal experience. Learn how to stop fueling the anxiety spiral and how to apply this skill in the middle of a sleepless night or a high-stakes performance.
Did you know “messy” feelings can actually be your secret weapon? In this episode, I’ll show you how to tune into both your physical sensations and the emotional layers beneath them, one body part at a time.
Learn a single question that can cut through anxiety, indecision, and overwhelm. In this episode, we dive into how imagining just one year left to live helped clients move from overwhelm to clarity, rewire anxiety, reconnect with purpose, and reshape relationships. Real coaching stories show how this mindset shift unlocks peace and purpose—right now.
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If you feel constantly on edge, like something bad is always about to happen, it’s not your fault—and it’s not just you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do... just in the wrong environment.
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What if a simple “hello” could rewire your anxious brain? In this surprising and science-backed episode, we explore how speaking to strangers—yes, even if you're an introvert—can shift your unconscious emotional default from fear to connection. Learn why weak social ties matter, how your brain rewrites its threat narratives, and how living in Brazil changed my personal relationship with everyday interactions. This episode is packed with practical, research-based advice for gradually training your brain to feel safer in the world, one small interaction at a time.
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What if your great-grandparents held the key to calming your anxiety? In this episode, we explore a surprising, research-backed strategy for influencing your unconscious brain: knowing your family's intergenerational stories. Discover how ancestral narratives can help shift your brain's default stress response from threat to challenge, enhancing resilience, emotional health, and self-efficacy. Through deeply personal family stories, you'll learn how to train your brain—like a beloved pet—to respond more supportively in the face of uncertainty. If you've ever wondered how to influence your emotional responses at the subconscious level, this episode is a must-listen.
Waking up already overwhelmed? In this episode, we unpack why morning anxiety hits hard—and how to shift from panic to strategy. Drawing from neuroscience, childhood memory, and a dash of board game strategy, we explore what it takes to reclaim mental ground and lead from strength, even when you feel like hiding under the covers. You’ll learn: Why your anxiety might spike in the early morning How applying a “game mindset” can help you work with your real-life resources How to create a realistic, compassionate sense of daily accomplishment And what a “Yay Me” paragraph can do to rewire your internal reward system
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Do you ever feel like life is one long stream of stress, uncertainty, and potential disaster? What if your brain is simply missing half the story? In this episode of Calm Your Caveman, we dive into the concept of serendipities—those unlikely, yet powerfully beneficial events that seem too timely to be coincidence. Drawing on the work of psychologist Scott Peck (The Road Less Traveled), we explore how noticing serendipities can actually rewire your negativity bias and reduce anxiety.
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Adult kids = adult worries. If you’ve been stuck in an anxiety loop, today’s episode is your lifeline. Learn four mindset shifts to focus on when worry strikes •A simple writing exercise to reframe parental anxiety •How to trust your children’s journey—even when it looks messy
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This episode starts with a conversation with my mom, who has spent a lifetime quietly serving others and finding real joy in it. But for me, giving didn’t always bring peace — it often brought guilt, pressure, and anxiety. If service is supposed to make us happier, why can it sometimes feel so heavy? I open up about my own dysfunctional relationship with giving, how it was harming rather than helping, and what finally shifted. Learn the two major blocks that might be keeping you from experiencing the mental health benefits of kindness — and how to turn giving into a powerful, joyful tool for emotional healing.
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When life feels overwhelming, it's tempting to assume things couldn’t get worse. But what if imagining how they could get worse is exactly what helps us feel better? In this episode, we explore a powerful psychological tool known as negative visualization—a mindset shift backed by science and rich with emotional payoff.
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Ever felt like you're faking it—despite all your preparation, skill, and effort? In this episode, we take a thoughtful look at those moments of self-doubt when you're asked to rise to the occasion but feel like you're not enough. Through three personal stories, we explore what imposter syndrome feels like from the inside.
Jealousy is often just fear in disguise. It’s a prickly emotion that shows up in all kinds of relationships—between siblings, friends, romantic partners, and even with our own kids. And if we don’t know how to work with it, it can hijack our peace, strain our relationships, and leave us stewing in shame.
What if managing your anxiety was as simple as telling the story of your day? In this episode, we explore how your brain changes when you narrate your experiences Why redemption stories (not contamination ones) are key to feeling better
In this episode, we discuss how to cope when life feels overwhelming and the sky seems like it's falling. Hear personal experiences, including a story about a severe ocean threat to my home in Brazil, to emphasize how hyperfocus on an immediate problem can be beneficial. However, she also addresses what to do when the threats are out of our control. This involves an interview with her father, who shares his practical advice on how to manage large-scale issues by focusing on smaller, controllable actions within one's local community. The episode concludes with insights on the importance of small actions for maintaining hope and agency in challenging times.
In this episode, we explore the complex relationship between religion and anxiety. Drawing on scientific research, this conversation examines religion not as inherently helpful or harmful, but as a tool—one whose value lies in how we choose to wield it. What You'll Learn in This Episode: - The concept of religion as a psychological technology - Key findings from major meta-analyses showing the health effects of religious practice - The impact of rituals, symbols, group behaviors, and shared purpose on anxiety and loneliness
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Understand the science behind the impressive effects of cold exposure on body and mind, and get practical tips for incorporating this therapy into daily life for handling stress and enhancing performance. Hear Dr. Twitchell’s journey with cold water therapy for managing anxiety. Learn about her initial resistance, gradual easing into the practice, and the profound physical, emotional, and psychological benefits she observed. Her sons, Sam and Lazarus, share their experiences with cold showers for boosting mood, alertness, and resilience.
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Hear Dr. Twitchell’s personal experiences with the effectiveness of breathing exercises for managing anxiety. Learn about specific methods such as Stasis breathing and the Wim Hof breathing protocol, and their physical and emotional benefits, along with the benefits of nasal breathing and the impact of exhalation length. Get practical tips for incorporating breathing exercises into daily life and performance situations and learn a five-minute practice for significant mental health improvements.
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Join Dr. Twitchell to learn about the importance of increasing distress tolerance for managing anxiety and negative emotions. This episode examines how resisting anxiety amplifies it and explores methods to accept negative emotions like anger, sadness, and fear by viewing them as temporary and necessary aspects of life. Dr. Twitchell shares personal anecdotes, discusses adaptive functions of emotions, and explains the value of understanding near-death experiences in reducing anxiety related to mortality. Concluding with practical tips and philosophical insights, Dr. Twitchell guides listeners on embracing distress and mortality to achieve a more peaceful and meaningful life.
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Learn about the numerous advantages exercise offers for anxiety management, including distraction, reduced muscle tension, and altered brain chemistry, that make exercise an effective anxiety management tool. Join Dr. Twitchell as she shares the challenges she faced in establishing a regular exercise routine due to anxiety and a busy schedule. She also emphasizes the importance of integrating exercise into daily life by sharing her personal morning beach walk routine for a more productive and less anxious day.
Adriana shares her personal journey in learning to see difficult experiences as beneficial. She explains the scientific research supporting this approach, detailing how finding a sense of macro meaning can shift our responses to stress from threat to challenge.
In this episode, Dr. Twitchell discusses a powerful tool for managing anxiety in both the short and long term—gratitude. Sharing personal experiences of long COVID, Dr. Twitchell explains how a daily gratitude practice helped alleviate anxiety and improve overall well-being. Drawing from scientific research and personal anecdotes, the episode highlights the broad-ranging benefits of gratitude, including reduced inflammation, better sleep, and enhanced emotional resilience. Dr. Twitchell offers practical tips for starting a gratitude practice. The episode concludes with a listener-contributed story, a “Kindness Narrative,” that will aid all listeners in starting a painless weekly gratitude practice.
Learn practical methods for applying the technique of self-talk in various situations, from quick interventions during the day to nighttime anxiety management. Dr. Twitchell shares personal examples and guides on thinking, speaking, and writing to oneself in the third person to regulate emotions, providing a comprehensive framework to approach anxiety mindfully. Gain insights on self-transcendence and leveraging the emotion of awe for a broader perspective, and understand how incorporating these practices daily can aid in emotional regulation and mental well-being.
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This episode explains how to observe rather than be overwhelmed by your feelings. It also highlights the power of using third-person pronouns to defuse emotional intensity and presents studies showing their effectiveness in managing anxiety and improving performance under stress. Practical exercises for implementing these techniques are provided to help listeners climb out of the emotional mud puddle and achieve better emotional regulation and clarity.
In this episode, wediscuss the important strategy of approaching anxiety instead of avoiding it. Highlighting insights from the book 'The Upside of Your Dark Side,' Dr. Twitchell explains how modern comfort has increased our sensitivity to discomfort, and how avoidance can amplify anxiety. She proposes a three-step strategy to approach anxiety: 1) Finding a long-term purpose that prioritizes enduring values over short-term comfort, 2) Articulating emotions in detail to defuse them, and 3) Gradually exposing oneself to anxiety triggers to make them familiar and reduce their impact. Dr. Twitchell emphasizes that managing anxiety effectively requires intentional approaching rather than avoidance.
Dr. Twitchell explores how creating the right types of goals can help achieve a state of inner harmony and reduce anxiety. She emphasizes the importance of goals that enhance autonomy and create inner order, distinguishing between genetic and cultural programming versus conscious goal setting. Dr. Twitchell also shares personal anecdotes and strategies to balance goal demands with available resources, ensuring they are neither too hard nor too easy, thus facilitating a flow state. Practical advice on adjusting goals to fit within one's resources and focusing on process-oriented goals is provided to help listeners cultivate a satisfying and harmonious relationship with their goals.
Join Dr. Twitchell in this New Year's episode as she discusses the importance of optimism and a challenge mindset in predicting and coping with future stressors. Dr. Twitchell explains how our appraisals and predictions shape our emotional and physiological responses, as well as our ability to solve problems and collaborate with others. Learn about the differences between threat and challenge mindsets, and practical ways to cultivate a more optimistic outlook for the coming year.
Join Dr. Twitchell in this special Christmas episode of 'Calm Your Caveman' to explore the profound impact of awe on our mental and physical well-being. Learn about Professor Dacher Keltner's insights on the psychological need for awe, its various benefits such as reduced anxiety and depression, and its ability to expand our circle of care. Discover eight pathways to experience awe daily, including moral beauty, collective movement, nature, music, and more. Dr. Twitchell also shares her personal 'daily awe hygiene' practice and explains how cultivating awe can enrich our lives year-round.
Dive into practical ways to manage your dopamine budget to help regulate emotions and combat anxiety. Building on last week's discussion about the dopamine system, Dr. Twitchell shares personal experiences of post-trip and post-accomplishment lows, illustrating how understanding and anticipating dopamine fluctuations can prevent these lows from having a lasting negative impact. She explains the importance of self-binding to prevent overspending your dopamine budget and describes how purposeful engagement in challenging activities can trigger beneficial dopamine responses. Dr. Twitchell also touches on how periods of abstinence can reset dopamine levels and improve overall pleasure sensitivity. As the holiday season approaches, listeners are guided to manage seasonal dopamine triggers and are given a preview of next week's topic on the emotion of awe. This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you maintain emotional balance year-round.
Dr. Twitchell delves into the crucial topic of managing your dopamine budget for effective anxiety management. Drawing on insights from three experts—psychiatrists Daniel Z. Lieberman and Dr. Anna Lemke, and neurobiologist Andrew Huberman—Dr. Twitchell explores the role of dopamine in pleasure, motivation, and anxiety. The episode highlights how our modern environment overstimulates the dopamine system, leading to anxiety and addiction, and offers strategies for managing dopamine levels through conscious regulation and moderation.
In this episode, the focus is on understanding and managing body image anxiety. The discussion delves into common misconceptions and ineffective methods for addressing body anxiety, such as cosmetic surgery and weight loss. The episode emphasizes the importance of changing our mental relationship with body image rather than altering physical appearance. Dr. Twitchell shares personal experiences and effective strategies, including mindfulness, reappraisal techniques, and finding a sense of purpose beyond physical appearance.
Delve into the profound effects of mindfulness meditation on anxiety and explore practical ways to incorporate it into your daily life. Dr. Twitchell discusses the scientific backing of mindfulness and its benefits, emphasizing the importance of practice for achieving mastery. Discover how starting with tiny, manageable habits can make mindfulness a natural part of your routine, helping you stay present and calm amidst the chaos of modern life.
Dive into the therapeutic power of music as a tool for anxiety management. Join us as we explore the science behind why music can be so effective in soothing anxious minds and how you can incorporate it into your daily routine to foster calm and resilience.
In this episode, we explore the pervasive issue of living in a constant state of high alert and its impact on our anxiety levels. Drawing insights from Alan Gordon's book "The Way Out," we discuss how modern life's constant bombardment of notifications and alerts keeps us perpetually stressed. By examining statistics from the Gallup 2019 Global Emotions Report, we highlight the prevalence of stress in today's society and delve into how our brains, evolved for a low-stimulation environment, struggle to cope with this constant high alert state. Tune in to gain valuable insights and practical tips for reducing anxiety by breaking free from the high alert habit, helping you cultivate a calmer and more balanced life.
In this episode, Dr. Christopher Minson, a renowned human physiologist and co-founder of NatureQuant, delves into the significant mental and physical health benefits of spending time in nature. Dr. Minson discusses the physiological responses to natural environments and the evidence supporting nature's positive impact on reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. He emphasizes the concept of "forest bathing," the importance of fractal patterns in nature, and introduces practical ways to incorporate nature into daily life.
In this episode, we explore the strategy of arranging and exercising control over your physical environment as a method to minimize anxiety. The discussion includes a deep dive into how modifying your living space can influence your emotional responses indirectly by affecting the appraisal processes.
In this episode of 'Calm Your Caveman,' Dr. Twitchell discusses the concept of managing your energy budget to alleviate anxiety. She emphasizes this is a situational strategy with indirect influence on anxiety regulation. The limits of situational strategies are discussed, given that people are notoriously bad at predicting their future emotional states, a concept known as affective forecasting. This often leads to overestimation of how happy or sad future situations will make them feel. With this understanding established however, situational strategies can be effectively leveraged as one of the many tools available for anxiety management. Drawing from her personal experience with chronic fatigue during long COVID, she explains how overspending your physical and mental resources can lead to heightened stress and anxiety. The episode details how to be mindful of energy expenditure, prioritize essential tasks, and ensure sufficient rest and self-care to maintain a healthy balance. Listeners are encouraged to understand their personal limits and make conscious choices to support their overall well-being. Dr. Twitchell also touches upon situational strategies, outlining their potential and limitations in indirectly influencing emotional experiences.
October 14, 2024
Know Your Context: Foundational Anxiety Management Strategies (Part III)
In this episode, Dr. Twitchell discusses the second foundational strategy for anxiety mastery, which is understanding and knowing your context. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing different levels of emotional distress and matching appropriate strategies to those levels. The episode explores how high cognitive load strategies can be practiced during low anxiety periods and how strategies can become automatic through practice. Dr. Twitchell also introduces concepts from Veilleux et al. and Dr. James Gross, discussing automatic appraisals and the need to practice strategies proactively.
October 7, 2024
Ana Regina Cardoso Models Anxiety Management Through Meaningful Living
In this episode, we move from theory to practice. Where the last three episodes focused on the theory of finding your "why," this episode explores application: an interview with Ana Regina Cardoso is presented as a form of modeling, offering listeners a concrete example of how “finding your why” can be applied in real life. She shares her experiences of caring for her sick mother at a young age and how these early responsibilities shaped her concept of a life purpose. From coordinating community aid during the pandemic to supporting the elderly through art projects, Ana’s story is a powerful testament to how hardship can be transformed into a life of purpose and service.
September 30, 2024
Dr. Thomas Nielsen Part II: Embracing Self-Compassion for a Meaningful Life
In the second part of our enlightening conversation with Dr. Thomas W. Nielsen, we delve deeper into the concept of meaningful happiness. Dr. Nielsen shares profound insights on the practical application of self-care principles, encapsulated in the acronym "SELF CARE AIMS." This episode explores the importance of balancing self-care and compassion with giving to others, emphasizing the role of self-compassion over mere self-esteem. Dr. Nielsen discusses the significance of autonomy, environment, achievement, and more, providing actionable advice on nurturing these areas to enhance overall well-being. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to cultivate a fulfilling, purpose-driven life, and “find their why” as a foundational starting point for anxiety management.
September 23, 2024
Dr. Thomas Nielsen Part I: Finding the Keys to Meaningful Happiness
In this special two-part series, we delve into the intricate relationship between meaning and happiness with Dr. Thomas W. Nielsen, an associate professor at the University of Canberra and an expert in wellbeing and values education. In Part I, Dr. Nielsen explores the essential elements that contribute to meaningful happiness, challenging the common misconception that material wealth is a primary source of joy. He emphasizes the importance of finding purpose and contributing to something beyond oneself, highlighting how these aspects are crucial for sustaining long-term happiness and managing anxiety. Dr. Nielsen shares compelling research findings that demonstrate the limited role of circumstances and material possessions in achieving true happiness. Instead, he discusses how engaging in meaningful activities and giving to others significantly enhances well-being and resilience, even in the face of adversity. The conversation also touches on the alarming rise in youth depression and suicide rates, linking these issues to a lack of perceived meaning in modern life. Listeners will gain insights into practical ways to cultivate meaning in their lives, the psychological and physiological benefits of giving, and how these practices can lead to a more fulfilled and joyful existence. This episode sets the stage for Part II, where Dr. Nielsen will delve deeper into the nuances of giving, especially for those who may struggle with over-giving and burnout.
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September 16, 2024
Find Your Why Continued: Foundational Anxiety Management Strategies Part II
In this episode of Calm Your Caveman, Dr. Twitchell deepens the conversation on finding your purpose as a foundational strategy for mastering anxiety. Building upon the previous discussion, this episode emphasizes the power of a clear 'why' to navigate complex emotional events and conflicting inner valuations. Dr. Twitchell explores how a defined purpose helps in choosing the right emotional regulation strategies and ensuring efficient resource allocation. Real-life examples, including job dissatisfaction and social anxiety, illustrate how identifying long-term values can guide critical life decisions. Additionally, the episode encourages writing exercises to bring subconscious values to the surface, thereby fostering greater emotional autonomy and resilience.
September 9, 2024
Find Your Why: Foundational Anxiety Management Strategies Part I
In this episode of Calm Your Caveman, the focus shifts from anxiety concepts to introducing foundational strategies for managing anxiety, specifically 'Finding Your Why.' Dr. Twitchell reviews the emotion generation process and the four families of regulation strategies, emphasizing the importance of choosing suitable strategies based on personal context and goals. Finding your purpose, or 'why,' is highlighted as it reduces anxiety by altering the brain's perception of demands and resources, increasing autonomy, and fostering persistence. The episode also offers practical exercises to help listeners identify their life purpose and overarching goals.
September 2, 2024
Emotion Regulation Secrets: Anxiety Master Key Concepts Part III
In this episode of the Anxiety Master Key Concepts, we delve into Dr. James J. Gross's renowned process model of emotion regulation. We explore the intricacies of how emotions are generated and regulated, emphasizing the importance of influencing emotions by intervening at key points in the cycle: situation, perception, appraisal, and response. The episode provides foundational knowledge necessary for effectively employing anxiety management strategies, highlighting the conceptual framework of emotion processes and the need for adaptability in coping methods.
August 26, 2024
Is Stress Good or Bad For You? Anxiety Master Key Concepts Part II
In this episode of Calm Your Caveman, the discussion picks up from previous sessions on anxiety master key concepts focusing on the appraisal theory as a tool for regulating emotions. Dr. Twitchell explains how appraisals, our brain's interpretations of situations, determine whether emotions are helpful or harmful by aligning with our goals. The episode delves into the dimensions of appraisal: desirability, attribution, and expectancy, and how they influence our emotional responses in stressful situations. Special emphasis is placed on understanding the challenge versus threat response – the former being when demands are met by our resources, producing adaptive and facilitating stress, and the latter when demands exceed our resources, leading to detrimental and lingering stress. Practical tips are given for recognizing and altering these responses. Dr. Twitchell references key studies and provides resources for further exploration.
August 19, 2024
Emotions Unlocked: Anxiety Master Key Concepts Part I
Dr. Twitchell delves into the appraisal theory of emotion, emphasizing its role in understanding 1) what emotions we should regulate and 2) how regulation is done (the basic principles behind the regulation process). The first question, about knowing which emotions to regulate, or knowing when emotions are helpful or harmful, is addressed by explaining that emotions evolved to help us adapt to our environment. Dr. Twitchell highlights the evolutionary purpose of emotions and contrasts them with rigid reflexes. She explains that we can determine the helpfulness of our emotions according to whether they are adaptive or maladaptive for our circumstances.
August 12, 2024
You Need an Anxiety Master Key
Dr. Twitchell discusses the concept of an "anxiety master key," a foundational tool for effective anxiety management. She outlines four essential questions that this master key addresses: 1. How to distinguish between adaptive (helpful) and maladaptive (harmful) anxiety. 2. How to cultivate helpful emotions and down-regulate harmful ones. 3. How to choose the right strategies for different situations. 4. How to implement these strategies effectively.
August 5, 2024
Introductory Episode
In the first episode of "Calm Your Caveman," Dr. Adriana Jarvis Twitchell introduces herself and her qualifications in anxiety management. She shares her lifelong struggle with anxiety and how a chronic illness intensified her need to manage it. This led her to focus her doctoral research on anxiety management strategies.