podcast

Hey everybody. Welcome to the podcast. Today, I'm gonna give you a quiz to start with. I want you to listen to these three quiz questions, answer them in your head, and then afterwards I'm going to tell you the answers and you can check and see how you did, okay? So the first one is, is it more likely to die from an accident or from a stroke? Second question is, is it more likely to die from an accident or from diabetes? And the third [00:01:00] question is, is it more likely for a child in the US to be kidnapped by a stranger, not by a family member, by a stranger, or to be born as a co-joined twin?
Okay, those are my three questions. Now. I'm gonna give you the answers. You can see how you did on this quiz. Okay. First one, more likely an accident or more likely a stroke? Well, the answer is a stroke. But if you thought an accident was more likely, you're not alone. About 80% of people would agree with you, but actually strokes are twice as likely to kill you as an accident. Okay, second question about an accident killing you or diabetes killing you. Which is more likely? Okay. The answer is actually diabetes. Diabetes is actually four times as likely to kill you as an accident, but if you answered accident, you're also not alone. Most people think that accidents [00:02:00] are more likely to kill you than diabetes. Okay. Now the third question about whether it's more likely for a child in the US to be kidnapped by a complete stranger or to be born a co-joined twin. Okay. The answer is actually, it is more than three times as likely that you would, that a child would be born as a co-joined twin than that they would be kidnapped by a complete stranger in the U.S. If you don't believe me on these statistics, I'm gonna put links in the show notes, show notes so that you can see the studies where these statistics are coming from. But how, how is your score? Did you fail this quiz? If you did, you're not alone. So this, this quiz was kind of just trying to examine what effect specifically the consumption of news has on our perception of, of danger, our perception of risk. And we can see [00:03:00] that the majority of people, even if you answered these quiz questions correctly, most people fail. Most people fail this quiz. And the reason is because of the way that the news industry works, news and social media. So news and social media are in the business of competing for our attention. They're about trying to excite us more than inform us, right? So they're always competing for attention grabbing headlines, and there are certain things that are going to grab our attention. And this comes out through psychology studies. We know, first of all, that threats are going to grab our attention. Why? Because we have a negativity bias. We've talked about this before. The human brain privileges threats over opportunities, meaning it pays more attention to threatening information than it does to information about opportunities or something beautiful or something [00:04:00] peaceful or, or something safe. So studies, for example, show that in a crowd, an angry face will pop out to our notice a lot quicker than a happy face. Or if you show people a bunch of eyes, you just flash pictures of eyes at them so quickly that they don't even realize that they've seen it, that their emotional systems in their brains react a lot more powerfully to eyes that are afraid, that are showing an afraid face, just the eyes than they do to eyes that are, that are smiling. So this is just an illustration of how our brains are drawn to threatening negative information. But this doesn't just pertain to physical threats. This also pertains to symbolic threats. Bad information or threatening information is processed more thoroughly than good information. So that's the first thing that psychology helps us to understand that if these news agencies and social media [00:05:00] want to grab our attention, they will have an easier time of it if they will talk about threatening information. The second thing that will grab our attention that psychology teaches us is if something is novel or unusual, then that will grab our attention. And the third thing is if it is emotionally charged, if it's really poignant it will grab our attention. So we have here we have the trio they will need to grab our attention. They will need to give us negative information that is unusual or novel and poignant or emotionally charged: negative, novel, emotional. These three things will grab our attention. And so that is what this industry does.
So what is the effect of consuming this type of media on our anxiety levels? So we have talked recently, we've referred a few times to this image of the [00:06:00] iceberg, and we compared this to your emotion generation process. That there's a little tiny bit of the iceberg, which is above the water that you can see, and that's the conscious part of your emotion generation. And then most of the iceberg is under the water, and that's the unconscious part of your emotion generation. And so most of what goes into our emotions is not really conscious. It's something so automatic that we don't even realize we've done it. Just like when we walk into our room and our pupils adjust to the light. . That's how automatic it is. We do have some conscious control over our emotion generation process. It, our emotions can be changed in a deliberate way, but most of our emotions are generated by this automatic, unconscious part of our brains. And what is it that our brains are doing when, when we are generating emotions? Well, our brains are answering questions about the future. They're predicting the future automatically. They're assessing the situation for how good or bad it is, for [00:07:00] whose fault it is, for how it will develop, what our coping potential is. And so this unconscious part of our brains is in the business of predicting the future, but it does it automatically. Now, how is it that our unconscious brains predict the future? Daniel Kahneman has done a lot of research, research on this. He wrote a book called Thinking Fast and Slow, in which he talks about a lot of this research. I can link that in the show notes as well. But he really analyzed what it is this, that this automatic part of our brains does when it is pre predicting the future. For example, when it is assessing how likely a certain dangerous event is. So let's say that you're about to get on an airplane. And whether or not you have anxiety as you're getting on the airplane will depend on what this unconscious brain finds when it does a scan. It tries to predict the future, and one of the things that it does is by, it [00:08:00] scans your recent memory and if it can come up, come with some instances or stories of plane crashes that it can remember very easily, that you have heard or found out about recently, then this part of your brain will decide that plane crashes happen often and it will make you feel anxious. So, here's one more quiz question for you that probably most of you know. What is more likely, to die in a car crash or die in a plane crash? Well, most people know that it is a lot more likely to die in a car crash, right? A hundred thousand times more likely. But at the same time, a lot of people are a lot more anxious about getting into a plane than they are about getting into a car. And why is it? It's because that unconscious part of their brain scans their recent memory, and it can easily remember several different [00:09:00] examples of plane crashes that they have found out about recently. So if you have heard frequently in the recent past about plane crashes, then it's gonna be more easy for your brain to remember these things, and if it's very vivid or imaginable. So for example, if you just read about the plane crash, it's not gonna be as vivid in this part of your brain as if you saw pictures of the plane crash or you saw a video of the plane crash. That's gonna make it very imaginable, very vivid. So that can explain why, even though in theory we know that it's a lot more likely to die in a car crash , a lot of us are still afraid to go on a plane because it's easy for our brains to retrieve vivid recent memories of hearing about plane crashes, right? These are reported a lot in the media because first of all, [00:10:00] they've checked off the boxes. They are negative, right? They're threatening. They are unusual, and they are emotionally charged. But actually, to put it in perspective, it is more likely to be killed by an alligator in Florida than to be killed in a plane crash. It's actually three times more likely. And it is nine times more likely to be struck by lightning this year than to be killed in a plane crash. But our brains don't process these numbers. What they process is if we can easily recall instances of plane crashes that we've heard about recently.
And what's the effect of this type of news consumption, which distorts the perception of threats, on our society? Well, Jonathan Haight wrote a book called The Anxious Generation recently, where he talks about how this has affected parents and the way that they have raised their children. A lot of parents grew up being able to roam freely and explore the world [00:11:00] outside without a lot of adult supervision. But we tend to be raising our children in a way that shows that we are afraid of the world that they live in now. That we think that it is more dangerous than it was when we were growing up, even though the risks to children from crime and from violence and from drunk drivers and most other sources has dropped steeply since the 1990s. That's not our perception. Why? Because the news tends to report these negative, unusual, emotionally charged events because that's what grabs our attention. We hear about them frequently, and so that unconscious part of our brain decides that they happen a lot, even though in reality they're quite infrequent. Just like the example of the kidnapping, that being kidnapped by a stranger is actually less likely than being born as a co-joined twin.
And when you consume this type of media, you're basically feeding your recent memory with [00:12:00] vivid imaginable, emotionally charged, negative, unusual events that start to seem not very unusual anymore because you have heard them repeated so much. And then it can basically turn us into having the, the personality equivalent, the default anxiety level equivalent of a rabbit or a deer, right? Rabbits and deer evolved in the presence of constant threats and so they are skittish and they are quick to bolt and run, and this is their default setting, is this defend mode or this threat mode. And it's really difficult for them to shift into a discover mode or a challenge mode. They only do it really slowly and tentatively when they feel that their environment is unusually safe. So it's rare for them to shift into this discover mode. And in a sense, that's what we do to our brains by over consumption of threat focused [00:13:00] media is that we turn ourselves into rabbits and deer that see our environment as a constant threat, when in reality that is a distortion. And that's what I was trying to show by the quiz at the beginning, that we have a distorted perception of reality. If our reality really were as threatening as the media makes it seem, then it would be good for us to be aware of it. But is it really good for us to think that unusual events are super common? Well, it will make us a lot more anxious than we actually need to be.
So that's really where consuming this negative media is detrimental because it is a type of practice. . You're training your brain to always tell a certain type of story because of the information that you are feeding it. You're over representing threat in the environment to it. And so it ends up feeling like there is a lot more threat in your personal world than there actually [00:14:00] is. So news is like, watching the news constantly and negative social media, is like practicing mistakes. Musicians know that what you practice is what you will perform. So if you are practicing mistakes, then you're gonna make mistakes on stage. That's what's gonna become automatic. If you wanna automatize accuracy, then you have to practice accuracy. So if we wanna automat automatize an accurate view of our environment, then we have to practice it.
So how is it that we can practice having a more accurate view of our personal world? Well, first of all, we need to not rely just on the news for our understanding of our personal world. And if we overconsume this media, then that unconscious part of our brain will get a warped view of how dangerous things are. So we need to limit the amount of news consumption that we have. So you can compare [00:15:00] it to, some kind of junk food. There might, there may be something good, some kernel of nutrition in that junk food, but it's got so much other additives and preservatives in it that it's actually really unhealthy for you if you consume it in large quantities. So maybe you'd compare it to dessert or something. You need to eat it after you eat your vegetables. So what are your vegetables, so to speak, in, in terms of emotion generation? Well, that's where we go back to things that we have talked about already. Practicing gratitude. Gratitude practice is practicing helping your brain see resources and signs of safety and signs of beauty and signs of comfort in your environment. which your brain isn't trained to see automatically. So practicing gratitude makes it easier for your automatic brain to remember different good things in your life, different resources in your life. It'll make your resources seem [00:16:00] more numerous and stronger because you have practiced remembering them. And also, we all, we talked about making a list of serendipities in your life. It's easy for us to remember terrible events that happen, but it's not always easy for us to notice and remember really unlikely good things that happen. We also talked about spending time somewhere where you can feel the emotion of awe. This really shifts your perception of threat as well. Another thing we can do is to check actual statistics. When we hear about some really disturbing news story, go online and check on on how often this actually really happens. And the internet might give you an actual number statistic, and that might not mean very much. It won't mean very much to your unconscious brain 'cause our unconscious brain does not deal in numbers, but it deals in comparisons. So if you take those numbers and then you go to [00:17:00] chat GPT and you say, can you compare this to something else so that I can understand in real life terms, how, like, how likely this is. So that's what I did where we, we looked at the plane crash and we saw that it's actually nine times more likely for you to get struck by lightning this year than for you to die in a plane. So if you can feed your brain that type of realistic context, then that can help it to understand how threatening this danger actually is, how often it actually happens. But another thing that we can do, which can really help, is to just be more aware of the effect that this type of media has on our emotions. And one of the best ways to be aware of how something feels is to go without it for a little while. So go on a fast from the news and from social media for a few days. If you're in a situation where you're actually addicted to social media, then you'll need it to be [00:18:00] longer than just a few days. You'll need to go off of it for at least three weeks. That's what addiction specialists tell us about how long it takes to reset our dopamine levels so that we can come out of an addiction. But if we're not talking about addiction, then you can just start with a few days, go off of it for a few days and notice how your emotions feel. Notice how you feel different. Notice if your default anxiety levels feel different. And they will start to change depending on what you're consuming. So if we're gonna compare it to, to eating terminology again, if you are going on a fast from news and social media, it's kind of like going off of your junk food or your super sugary dessert, but it won't really help you that much unless you feed yourself with other good things. So eat your vegetables, right? That's engage in, in gratitude, practice in awe, in noticing serendipities, and see how your brain [00:19:00] responds , if you start to feel a different default level of anxiety. And you will, because you will have different things in your recent memory that are more easy for your brain to bring up. So you'll start to see the world and feel the world in a different way. And once you have fasted for a little while and gone off of it, you can think about adding some more back in. There are good reasons to be in touch with what's going on in the world, and if you feel like there's a really compelling reason for you to still consume some news, go ahead and do that, but do it in a conscious way, a way that is conscious of how it affects your subconscious appraisals. And the, the key here is to, to keep a balance between knowing what's going on and having it tip you toward an unrealistic assessment of threat in the world, which is what will happen. It is guaranteed to happen if you consume it too much just [00:20:00] because of how this industry works and how they focus on those things which are unusual, negative, emotionally charged events, 'cause those will grab your attention. And if, if you overconsume that, then you will be tipped toward a threat. So find that balance. This is a very personal thing. Everyone has to figure out what they can handle. For me, this looks like I, I just read the news occasionally. I don't watch the news in general. I prefer to read it. That makes it less vivid. And so I can still get the information, but it's not going to penetrate my unconscious awareness quite as much. It's not going to color all of my unconscious appraisals quite as powerfully. But like I said, everybody has to figure this out personally. You figure out what works for you, but do it with awareness of, first of all, what the news is trying to do. What their to-do list is. It is to grab your attention with unusual, negative emotionally [00:21:00] charged events. Second of all, what effect this has on your unconscious appraisals and how your unconscious appraisals work from your recent memory. What's easy for that unconscious brain to bring up in your recent memory depends on if it's vivid, if it's been repeated a lot. And you have to practice what it is that you want to perform. And if you are practicing seeing the world in a very threatening way, that is what you will get. So to make that transition from a deer or a rabbit toward an animal at the top of the food chain or a, a large herbivore where there aren't predator predators around like an elephant, then you, you can do that. You can do that through practice. So that's my thought for you today. We're gonna now have a kindness narrative. It helps all of us to listen to these kindness narratives 'cause it's a way of practicing seeing the world in this more safe way. But when you can share your own kindness narrative, it has even more impact [00:22:00] on that unconscious part of your brain. So do it for yourself and do it for all of us if you would be so kind. Thanks and listen now to this kindness narrative.
I was coming back from Indiana and, well, I'm very short and putting my luggage, my carry-on up above in the plane bins is quite difficult. So I came into the plane and a man who was dressed like a pilot, said to me, can I put your luggage up for you? And of course I said yes. And he put it up in the, in the overhead bin and I sat down and he sat down in a chair across from me across the aisle, [00:23:00] he was across the aisle. Then as people came onto the plane, there was a, an elderly gentleman that was, you know, having trouble walking and things. And the man dressed like a pilot, got up and offered him his seat. This must have been like Southwest, where you don't have an assigned seat. Then as the plane got ready to go, I noticed this man get up and walk into the cabin. He was the pilot. And I thought that was so interesting that he had taken time to just sit there in the plane , save a seat for somebody that might need it, help somebody that might need their luggage, put up in the bins. It was so incredible to watch this person who was actually the captain of the plane be sitting there serving others.