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Hey everybody. Welcome to the podcast. If you're like me, you may find yourself at times thinking, if only I didn't have to deal with so much uncertainty in my life. If only I knew exactly what, what was gonna happen this week, this month, this year. I would feel more in control. I would feel less anxious. I would feel happier. I would feel more confident. If you feel this way, you're not alone. Studies have shown that people tend to think that if they have more certainty and they understand more about what's going on, that they will feel better, and that if they don't, that they will feel worse.

But psychology research has shown us over and over again that we are often pretty bad at predicting what it is that is going to make us happy. Consider these studies. There was a study where the researchers were going to give subjects something to drink. Half of the subjects knew exactly what they were going to drink and when, and the other half had no idea. They were left in the dark. So half of the subjects were given certainty. The other half were not given certainty. They were left in uncertainty. And they scanned the subject's brains during this experiment so that they could see what types of feelings they were having. So they can see this by seeing which brain circuits light up, et cetera. And what they found was that the people that were left in uncertainty, that they had a lot more positive feelings than the ones who had certainty about what they were going to drink. They saw in their brains that circuits that are linked with positive feelings lit up a lot more brightly in the people who had uncertainty. Psychology researchers have seen this as well in Olympic athletes. Those who did not expect to win and then they win, even just a third place or a silver medal, they are a lot more likely to just be gushing with joy than the people who expected to win all the time.

So these findings are interesting because they suggest that maybe we're wrong about what it is that is going to make us happy, that we might think that we would feel better if we had less uncertainty in our lives. But these studies show that good news is a lot more enjoyable when it comes as a surprise.
And we may not be very good at predicting that we will feel better if we don't know what's gonna happen, but casinos have figured it out. That's what keeps people stuck to a slot machine for eight hours in a row. They're excited about maybe winning, but they're uncertain about if and when they might win. And that uncertainty enhances the pleasure if they do win.

There was another study where researchers were on a college campus and they were ho handing out cards to different students. And on the back of these cards there was a silver dollar taped to it and it was signed the Smile Society. But half of the cards had an explanation about what The Smile Society was. It explained what they did, that their mission was to brighten people's day, et cetera. And then half of the cards, they only had the silver dollar and the name of the society. And so the students who had received the cards with just the silver dollar and the name, they were left wondering about what the society was. They didn't understand why it was that they got this free silver dollar. But what was interesting is that the students who did not know why they were given the silver dollar, they actually felt better about the gift, and their good feelings lasted longer than the ones who understood why they were given the gift, who were given the explanation about the society. So being mystified actually enhanced the positive feelings of the ones who didn't understand why they received a silver dollar. These examples come from the book Curious by Todd Kashdan. And they are taken from research that he and his research team have done. And I'll link that book up for you in the show notes.

So if we believe that understanding everything and being able to predict the future confidently and being in control are what we need in order to feel good, we actually might be wrong. If we got that, that we wanted, we actually might have a lot less pleasure in our lives. A lot less enjoyment, a lot less happiness. Because we will be cutting ourselves off from two sources of meaning and happiness in our lives, which are novelty and uncertainty. And researchers explain that it's this work of trying to make sense of something that we don't understand that is part of what gives us this happiness, because sometimes when we have to make sense of something that we didn't expect and we don't understand, it changes the way that we view things and we end up in a sense, growing through that experience, through that meaning making. And that this growth is part of what produces that happiness associated with the event.

You may remember that recently in the last couple of weeks we talked about how psychologists say that we have two really fundamental needs. We have a need for safety and security, and we also have a need for growth. If we were to get this desire that we have where we do not have any more uncertainty in our lives, then that would mean that we actually already know and comprehend everything in the universe, right? There's no room for growth anymore because we already know and comprehend everything, and so we wouldn't be able to grow anymore. We would not have access to growth anymore. We were talking a couple weeks ago on the episode about staying in love for the long haul, and we were talking about this great big survey done by the Gallup organization where they survey people from all over the world in different countries and they're surveying people about their wellbeing, about their positive feelings or their negative feelings yesterday. And some interesting data that comes out of this survey shows that the biggest predictor of positive feelings for people all over the world is whether or not they learned something yesterday. Doesn't matter what country you're in, what culture you're in, if you learned something yesterday, then you also tend to have had positive feelings yesterday.

So this, this is part of what we get with uncertainty. When we have uncertainty, we have an opportunity for growth because we have an opportunity to be surprised. We have an opportunity to have to make sense of something that we didn't understand and have to adapt the map that we have of the world to incorporate this new information that just came to us. So uncertainty gives us an opportunity to meet our need for growth, or in other words, to get the happiness that comes from growing every day.

So if you're like me, your default response to uncertainty is anxiety. You don't like uncertainty. It doesn't seem to be your friend. But I wanted to tell you about this research because it can help you to reframe the way that you look at uncertainty and be able to see it as a source for pleasure, a source for enjoyment, a source for growth that you wouldn't have without it. We think that we would be happier if we didn't have uncertainty, but actually psychology research suggests that we would drift towards stagnation and we would not actually be happier and we would not be growing.

Deepak Chopra, who is a spiritual writer and teacher said something that I really like. He said, I wake up with the hope that this day is even more uncertain than yesterday. It's the unknown that we live, breathe, and move in all the time thinking it is the known. If a life can be a series of perpetual surprises, that's the most joyous experience you can have.

So I wanted to give you this research, give you these ideas today to give you a chance to maybe reframe your relationship with uncertainty to see it as a source for pleasure, a source for enjoyment, a source for happiness, A source to meet your need for growth every day. To be able to switch from seeing uncertainty as a demand in your life, right? We have our demands and resources. We end up with a threat response when we feel like the resources are too much for our demands. A lot of times we go into threat response when we look at an uncertain future and we think, oh my goodness, I don't even know what the demands are, and I don't know if I'm gonna have the resources that I need. But if instead, you can see uncertainty as not just a demand, but actually also a resource, it's a resource for pleasure, for greater joy, for greater happiness in your life, and a resource for growth, then that can help you to generate a challenge response, and help you to wanna approach the unknown and get the most out of it, rather than running away from it and hiding, which is what we do in anxiety, which leaves us immobilized in fear. It doesn't feel good. We feel uptight and tense. We're not able to act and to move and to create and to grow.

So I've been working on trying to reframe my relationship with uncertainty as well. I wish you luck in doing the same. That's what I wanted to leave you with today. Thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you again next week.